It's a sad truth for writers... Networking is an important part of succeeding as a writer.
We all want to pretend that's not true, but it is.
The more people you know, and the more people you can get to know your writing, the greater chances you have of succeeding.
We all want to pretend that's not true, but it is.
The more people you know, and the more people you can get to know your writing, the greater chances you have of succeeding.
But that doesn't make 'networking' any easier.
Every writer I know shudders at the thought.
Industry mixers. Introducing yourselves to people. Putting yourself 'out there' when you really wish you had stayed in.
It sucks. It all sucks. It feels fake. And lame. And often nauseating.
Over the years, Chelsea and I consistently found ourselves hugging the walls at 'networking events,' or shying away from people we really wanted to meet. So we devised a few tips for overcoming awkwardness and making the most of networking opportunities.
These tips were born from necessity. They have worked for us (mostly). Hopefully they will work for you too.
Every writer I know shudders at the thought.
Industry mixers. Introducing yourselves to people. Putting yourself 'out there' when you really wish you had stayed in.
It sucks. It all sucks. It feels fake. And lame. And often nauseating.
Over the years, Chelsea and I consistently found ourselves hugging the walls at 'networking events,' or shying away from people we really wanted to meet. So we devised a few tips for overcoming awkwardness and making the most of networking opportunities.
These tips were born from necessity. They have worked for us (mostly). Hopefully they will work for you too.
1) Avoid Anything that seems networky
If something is called a 'mixer' or a 'meet up' or is ever prefaced by the word 'networking.' it's going to suck.
That's a fundamental rule of life in LA (and every other place in the world). Internalize it now, and thank us later.
Here's the thing, if you're out there deliberately 'networking,' you're already starting off with a severe handicap. You're throwing yourself into the deep end, and you're probably going to drown in a sea of your own awkwardness (and the awkwardness of every other person there).
Sure, maybe there's the occasional good networking event. For the most part, though, they're just traps for naive writers with money to spend and nowhere else to turn.
Want to know a good alternative?
Go to events that you're genuinely interested in! If you're in LA or any other big city, there should be tons of them.
Film festivals. Q and A's. Writer's groups. Film shoots. Writer's Guild Foundation stuff. Acting classes.
Or produce your own writing! Chelsea and I produce new material as often as possible. We don't direct, because we want to meet directors. We don't edit because we want to meet editors. And so on and so forth.
It will be a hit and miss process, but you'll soon find yourself connected to a whole web of talented people who love the same stuff as you.
That's a fundamental rule of life in LA (and every other place in the world). Internalize it now, and thank us later.
Here's the thing, if you're out there deliberately 'networking,' you're already starting off with a severe handicap. You're throwing yourself into the deep end, and you're probably going to drown in a sea of your own awkwardness (and the awkwardness of every other person there).
Sure, maybe there's the occasional good networking event. For the most part, though, they're just traps for naive writers with money to spend and nowhere else to turn.
Want to know a good alternative?
Go to events that you're genuinely interested in! If you're in LA or any other big city, there should be tons of them.
Film festivals. Q and A's. Writer's groups. Film shoots. Writer's Guild Foundation stuff. Acting classes.
Or produce your own writing! Chelsea and I produce new material as often as possible. We don't direct, because we want to meet directors. We don't edit because we want to meet editors. And so on and so forth.
It will be a hit and miss process, but you'll soon find yourself connected to a whole web of talented people who love the same stuff as you.
2) Talk to People Waiting In Line
Okay. So let's say you decided to go see a Q & A with a screenwriter you love somewhere in LA.
This is a great place to meet like-minded people, some of whom are probably successful producers or agents or what not.
But if you wait to talk to people until you get inside, you're not going to meet anyone interesting. They'll all be involved in the programming, or looking for their friends, or otherwise on the move.
So talk to the people waiting next to you in line.
It's easy. You're both at the event because you love XYZ. So talk about XYZ.
This is a great place to meet like-minded people, some of whom are probably successful producers or agents or what not.
But if you wait to talk to people until you get inside, you're not going to meet anyone interesting. They'll all be involved in the programming, or looking for their friends, or otherwise on the move.
So talk to the people waiting next to you in line.
It's easy. You're both at the event because you love XYZ. So talk about XYZ.
3) Don't Be Self-Deprecating! Seriously. Don't.
Sure, some self-deprecation can be charming in the right circumstances, but when you're meeting new people (or when you have a meeting with a producer or whatever), self-deprecation is a recipe for disaster (and awkwardness).
People want to work with confident people. They want to associate with experts. They want to feel comfortable working with you or recommending you to someone in the future.
If you're self-deprecating and they don't know you that well, you're going to come off kind of pathetic.
It can be difficult, but always try to be confident. Not arrogant. Confident. Even-keeled and sure of your abilities.
"Yes I can do that," is a much better response than "I mean, yeah, I would work with you, if you don't mind working with someone who lives out of their car and hasn't eaten anything but Cheetos for six months."
If you're like us, it can take a lot of work for to stay away from constant self-deprecation, but it's worth it. Plus, it feels kind of good to be confident. Who knew?
People want to work with confident people. They want to associate with experts. They want to feel comfortable working with you or recommending you to someone in the future.
If you're self-deprecating and they don't know you that well, you're going to come off kind of pathetic.
It can be difficult, but always try to be confident. Not arrogant. Confident. Even-keeled and sure of your abilities.
"Yes I can do that," is a much better response than "I mean, yeah, I would work with you, if you don't mind working with someone who lives out of their car and hasn't eaten anything but Cheetos for six months."
If you're like us, it can take a lot of work for to stay away from constant self-deprecation, but it's worth it. Plus, it feels kind of good to be confident. Who knew?
4) take a compliment like a normal person
This kind of goes hand in hand with the previous point, but it deserves its own number because it's important.
When someone compliments your writing, don't be an awkward weirdo about it.
Here's an example of an awkward response...
"Oh yeah. You know. It's pretty bad. I don't like it. But I guess you do. So that's a thing."
Here's another horrible response...
"Oh. Cool! I like your... Shoes. I really do. I'm not just saying that because you complimented me first. Those are good shoes. Can I buy them off you?"
Instead, just say "Thanks."
Yep. One simple word, and it's the answer to all of your awkward phobias about receiving compliments.
On the flip side of this, be free-wheeling with your compliments. There's no better way to break the ice with new people than to compliment them on something. If you're lucky, they won't be weird about it.
When someone compliments your writing, don't be an awkward weirdo about it.
Here's an example of an awkward response...
"Oh yeah. You know. It's pretty bad. I don't like it. But I guess you do. So that's a thing."
Here's another horrible response...
"Oh. Cool! I like your... Shoes. I really do. I'm not just saying that because you complimented me first. Those are good shoes. Can I buy them off you?"
Instead, just say "Thanks."
Yep. One simple word, and it's the answer to all of your awkward phobias about receiving compliments.
On the flip side of this, be free-wheeling with your compliments. There's no better way to break the ice with new people than to compliment them on something. If you're lucky, they won't be weird about it.
5) Be nice, stupid
If you're at an event and you find yourself in a conversation with someone, don't say mean stuff about other people.
- Don't complain about people you've worked with.
- Don't complain about how no one will read your stuff.
- Don't talk about how much you hate LA.
Just... Be positive.
Here's why: Nobody wants to work with someone that complains all the time.
You may feel like you're suppressing your true self by not complaining about someone that screwed you over, but you never know who-knows-who. Beyond that, you don't want the person you're talking to to think "Are they gonna talk about me if something goes wrong when I work with them?"
So keep your negativity inside, and save it up for people you know and trust. Or write us an email about it, and we'll delete it forever from existence, and we won't judge your for it, and you can go forth into the world unburdened by your fury.
- Don't complain about people you've worked with.
- Don't complain about how no one will read your stuff.
- Don't talk about how much you hate LA.
Just... Be positive.
Here's why: Nobody wants to work with someone that complains all the time.
You may feel like you're suppressing your true self by not complaining about someone that screwed you over, but you never know who-knows-who. Beyond that, you don't want the person you're talking to to think "Are they gonna talk about me if something goes wrong when I work with them?"
So keep your negativity inside, and save it up for people you know and trust. Or write us an email about it, and we'll delete it forever from existence, and we won't judge your for it, and you can go forth into the world unburdened by your fury.
6) Ask lots of questions
When you meet someone at one of these events, don't get too caught up in talking about yourself.
Give people the opportunity to tell you what they are about.
They're gonna love you for it.
Be a good listener. Ask interested questions, and don't force your own experiences into the conversation.
This is kind of just general conversation etiquette, but it's a huge help when you're 'networking.'
By asking questions, you allow your conversational partner to do most of the heavy lifting. By the time it's your turn to talk, you'll be deep into a nice conversation, and the thick ice of your awkwardness will have melted away.
Give people the opportunity to tell you what they are about.
They're gonna love you for it.
Be a good listener. Ask interested questions, and don't force your own experiences into the conversation.
This is kind of just general conversation etiquette, but it's a huge help when you're 'networking.'
By asking questions, you allow your conversational partner to do most of the heavy lifting. By the time it's your turn to talk, you'll be deep into a nice conversation, and the thick ice of your awkwardness will have melted away.
7) Don't have an Agenda
Imagine you've somehow managed to be invited to a hot Hollywood party. And you know that the other partiers are big wigs in the industry.
The number one stupidest thing you can do is to walk around talking about your writing.
Be a person. Be interesting. Talk to people you meet like they are normal people. Share your interests. Don't prattle on about your writing. No one wants to hear that. And unless they show real interest in what you're working on, don't force that information into a conversation.
If you do, people will avoid you like the plague.
The number one stupidest thing you can do is to walk around talking about your writing.
Be a person. Be interesting. Talk to people you meet like they are normal people. Share your interests. Don't prattle on about your writing. No one wants to hear that. And unless they show real interest in what you're working on, don't force that information into a conversation.
If you do, people will avoid you like the plague.
8) Get contact information
So you went to the party. You had some good conversations. You gave and received compliments with grace. You didn't bore people by talking about your writing.
And there's one person you got along with that you'd love to talk to again in the future.
When you're leaving say, "What's your number/contact info/whatever, I'd love to stay in touch."
That's all. Don't freeze up when it comes time to actually induct the friendship into your cell phone. Just ask and you're good to go.
And there's one person you got along with that you'd love to talk to again in the future.
When you're leaving say, "What's your number/contact info/whatever, I'd love to stay in touch."
That's all. Don't freeze up when it comes time to actually induct the friendship into your cell phone. Just ask and you're good to go.
do You have networking tips?
Tell us more in the comments!
