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Here's Why Your Dialogue Sucks

8/6/2013

7 Comments

 
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Dialogue is one of the hardest parts of screenwriting.

It’s hard to master, sure.

But there’s an even bigger problem…

Most writers don’t even know it when their dialogue sucks.

It sounds harsh, but it’s true. 

The first step to improving your dialogue writing recognizing that you’ve got a problem.

So this week, we’ve listed the top ten warning signs of bad dialogue.

Keep reading to find out what they are.

1) Small Talk

You don’t need to show characters greeting each other, or excusing themselves, or saying goodbye.

Start scenes with the conversation already begun. End them as soon as that scene has moved the story where it needs to go. 

2) Exposition

It’s lazy writing to just have a character blab out a bunch of backstory. Or to have a character state any other important details, like “Deb, you’re my sister,” or “You know it’s Christmas.”

But you can’t write a script entirely without exposition. There is some information that the audience needs to know. So you have to work to communicate that information in an interesting and natural way.

For instance, instead of having characters discuss that it’s New Year’s Eve, have them exchange resolutions. Then the audience knows the situation without having to be told outright. 

3) Monologues

Most screenplays don’t need more than one or two monologues. There are exceptions, of course, but if you’ve got a bunch of monologues, really think about whether or not you need them.

Monologues slow scripts down, and they rarely (if ever) happen in real life.

Plus, if you have a bunch of monologues in your story, each successive one will carry less weight, so that one great monologue in the third act won’t seem nearly as momentous as it should.

4) No Rhythm

Dialogue is rhythm. You know that video of the two babies babbling at each other?
That’s really good dialogue. Because you understand the tone of the conversation without even needing words. It’s all rhythm.

Not only should every character have their own voice, the rhythms of their conversations should change depending on who they are talking to.

The rhythm of a Jerry and George conversation is different from that of Jerry and Elaine, which is way different than Jerry and Kramer. You get the point.

5) Explanation

Character A should never explain anything to Character B unless they are in a situation where both Character B and the audience have not already heard what Character A is talking about.

6) Throat Clearing

“Listen…” “You know…” “I’m feeling like…” “Yeah, well…”

These are phrases you probably don’t need, so use them sparingly. They are just an example of you (the writer) clearing your throat on the page.

And writing a character that says ‘listen’ or ‘you know’ constantly, as part of their character, isn’t nearly as unique and special as it might at first seem. There are better ways to differentiate the way people talk. 

7) Inauthentic Reactions

You need to write characters that live in the moment.

That means they need to have honest reactions to information they are given. If someone learns their loved one just died, they aren’t going to say something witty, they’re going to react in the moment.

Write honest moments, and don’t be pre-occupied with writing smart or witty retorts all the time, and your dialogue will be much more effective. 

8) Too Long

If you can get the point across in one sentence, then that line of dialogue should only be one sentence.

It can be hard not to repeat yourself in dialogue, but this is really just another example of the writer clearing their throat.

“I hate John! John’s an asshole! John can’t come back here anymore!”

Pick one and move on.

9) No Subtext

This is what they call ‘on the nose dialogue.’ If your characters are stating facts about how they feel, that’s a bad sign. 

People are way more difficult to read than that. We don’t say what we mean. We manipulate people or lie or deflect, secretly hoping to get what we want. So your characters should do that too. 

10) Everyone Sounds the Same

Most screenwriters know the trick, “Cover up the character names and you should be able to tell which character is talking.”

That has some merit, sure.

But honestly, you should be able to tell by the content just as easily as by the way they talk. Lots of times what people say communicates character just as much as how they say it. (What they do communicates character better than anything else, but that's a different article.)

If you cut me in line at the bank, I’m gonna say “HEY WTF!?” and Chelsea is going to say “Go right ahead.”

So make sure you always keep your character’s perspective and who they are in the front of your mind, just as much as you consider how they talk, always remember it’s what they say that will really set them apart. 

Comment with More

What's the best dialogue you've ever seen in a movie? How about the worst? 

Comment below.


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7 Comments
MJ
8/7/2013 02:17:26 am

Spectacular thoughts!! Especially appreciate part where it's hard for folks to realize their dialogue fails. Guess that's where reading/hearing it out loud matters. Put another way, using Breaking Bad as example, when I hear that dialogue, I feel so ill-equipped to write that stellar dialogue. Especially when I replay the scene, I feel daunted. Guess that's the first step...
Thanks for these constructive articles!!

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Script Quack link
8/8/2013 04:26:34 am

Thanks for stopping by, MJ. Reading your work out loud can be a big help, yes. It's even more helpful if you can arrange a staged reading of your work. Hearing actors read your writing aloud is a huge help when it comes to dialogue. Have you ever seen your work performed?

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Geno link
8/7/2013 12:26:59 pm

Great points, as usual. Is there any better dialogue (especially involving more than two characters in a scene), than the opening diner scene of QT's "Reservoir Dogs"? Not in my book. Why? Precisely because it heeded every one of those ten points listed above. Six conversations going on at once. Spectacular!

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MJ
8/7/2013 01:05:41 pm

That scene was positively riveting... just saw it for first time recently. Mesmerized. Seemed it nearly had nothing to do with the plot-- Other than to brilliantly introduce each of the varying, disparate characters. And, to let us know we're in for quite a ride, dialogue-wise of course. Great thinking/example Geno.

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Script Quack link
8/8/2013 04:28:07 am

Tarantino's in a league of his own when he comes to dialogue! Maybe we'll do an article on his dialogue in particular in the future - - thanks for the idea, Geno!

Robert Garcia
8/12/2013 07:11:19 am

thought dialogue for girl dragoon tatoo was great, especially Mara{s. liked OLGA KIRLENKO, Quantum Solace, there{s something horribly effecient about you Bond.

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Script Quack link
8/22/2013 03:12:10 am

You're right, Robert. Girl w/ the Dragon Tattoo had excellent dialogue. Efficient and effective.

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